First published as part of hi spirit, hi matter, curated by Beth Sometimes, Watch This Space ARI, 2022.
note to you and our dna
hi spirit
hi matter
i would’ve liked to have spent
more time writing you
though diane says THE REQUIREMENTS
OF OUR LIFE IS THE FORM
OF OUR ART and previous requirements
have deposited me here with sleeves
sodden from the wet ride i just took
drying now with any luck
while i write you
requirements means turbulence
means abundance means gladness
means what we’re too
busy doing means grief and cataclysm
you watched a bird learn
to fly bit by bit
in a nest right out your bedroom window
at one point
it ended up splayed against
the wall clinging awkwardly
to skinny branches
cheeping for help
i found out my mum had cancer
while i was in the bath
watching a spider build its web
from start to finish something
i had never seen before or since
it was amazing
the news the nature their mingling
i was exceptionally close to life
even though grief hovered
right by the tub
my mum is fine now
i only mention it
because the fledgling
out your window
reminded me of
little life functions
impervious to the ache
swirling on the other side
of the glass
i can’t help but think
spirit moving through matter
that there is much id like
to show you but that really
it is not the things i’ve touched
but the neighbours
shimmering nearby
that so hurt to know
you’re missing
of course id love for you
to feel the sticky heft of my
sleeve as it slowly steams
off the rain or hear music
turned so low all you catch
is hi hats or notice the private whistle
your nostril sometimes makes
and to quietly
absentmindedly
amuse yourself with it
of course id love for you
to have seen
the bats keeping pace
with me as i pedalled
through the dim blue evening
jagged navy rips
intent on something
far and dark
a bird neighbours your grief
a spider mine
birds eat spiders sometimes
some spiders too eat birds
whatever compels us to assume
these arrangements
is the requirement of our lives
run a bath
leap from the nest
spin a web
i have so much
to tell you